In the lives of many, the iPhone and iPod are more important than their very heartbeat. Working out, driving, mowing the lawn, rocking their baby, making love . . . it doesn’t matter to these people, their iPod or iPhone is as integral a part of their life as breathing. But what happens when these beloved devices turn on you?

Think Megatron in iPod form: although these devices might bring joy to the entire human population, Apple has done everything to hide their true dangers behind a vibrant and brightly colored marketing campaign.
Throughout the past decade, Apple has done an excellent job promoting their products. However, rarely do we see the dark side of iWorld. After thorough research and thought, we have discovered 13 deadly, or near death experiences involving the iPhone or iPod.

As you can guess, getting hit by a car while listening to your iPod or talking on your iPhone is the most common way to die, but you wouldn’t believe some of the other iFatalities. Some of these will simply blow your mind, while others will have you considering switching back to the Sony Walkman.

Welcome to the iCurse:

1)iEpileptic Seizures:

If you thought horrible Japanese anime was the only thing that caused epileptic seuizures, think again. Stacey Gayle of Queens loved her reggae music . . . but there was one major problem. When she began listening to the song “Temperature” by Sean Paul on her iPod, she began convulsing at the 2 minute mark of the song. This condition was heartbreaking for Gayle, to the point she was nearing suicide before submitting to brain surgery. Go ahead . . . see if you can make it through the song without dropping to the ground:

2) iLightning Conductor:

If the iPhone or iPod had a 4 foot metal pole attached to a golf club and the guy were standing in the middle of a prairie field during a thunderstorm . . . we could understand getting struck by lightning. However, in 2006, Jason Bunch was sitting in his Denver, CO living room listening to his iPod when he was struck by a bolt. He stated:

“From where the iPod was, it damaged my hearing and it ruptured my eardrums. Where the cord was, it burned me all down my body,” said Bunch. “We need to shave my head because my hair is like dreadlocks. It’s all sticking together.”

Here are a few lightning stats:

Number of thunderstorms occurring at any given moment: 2000

Number of lightning strikes every second: 100

Number of lightning strikes per day: 8 Million

Number of lightning strikes in the USA per year: 20 Million

Number of VOLTS in a lightning flash: 1 Billion

Number of AMPS in a lighting flash: between 10,000 and 200,000

And his iPod made Jason the unlucky guy to catch one of these.

3) iCaught my Pants on Fire:

Everyone’s been caught with their pants down before, but Danny William’s pants had flames coming up to his chest. All because of an iPod nano he had tucked away in his pocket.

4) iPacemaker Interference:

It took 7 years, but my family was finally able to get my grandpa adapted to the lowest form of 21st century technology: the computer. Next step: throwing in the old cassette tapes and teaching him the ways of the iPod. However, as it turns out, the iPod isn’t as friendly to bad heart patients as one might think. A Michigan student found that iPods caused interference in 50%, yes HALF of the pacemakers he used in the study.
Considering the baby boomer population is approaching the age where a close relationship with a cardiologist is required, this study shows that having a pacemaker and an iPod could be a deadly combination.

5) iHit by Helicopter:

For those sadistic people out there reading this article: here is your first fatality . . . and one heck of a fatality it is indeed. I’ve been bumped by a car listening to my iPod, ran into a tree, a bicycle, another person, a baby stroller . . . but this kid was hit by a helicopter. You just have to check out the article to believe it.

6) iAte my iPhone:

Have you ever read the fine print on the back of your IPod or iPhone box? If not, it reads:

“SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Ingesting or inhaling your iPhone or iPod earbuds may be hazardous to your health.”

Why is this a potential hazard? Because the iPhone and iPod contain dibutyl phthalate (DBP) which has been proven to causes sexual malfunction in mammals. Want to be impotent? Eat your iPhone.

7) iSmashed by Train:

We have all seen a person or two be hit by a car while on their iPod or iPhone, but chances are you didn’t know a man was actually hit by a train. Sure, drowning out the noise of an oncoming vehicle is impressive, but how loud was the music that caused a man to be hit by a train “The engineer blew the air horn several, several times, and then the boy turned around right before the train hit him, and he tried to jump out of the way,” Woodfin police officer Charles Robinson said.

8:) iHit by Car:

It might be the most cliché way to be killed while on your iPod or Phone, but it still counts towards this list.

9) iWrecked:

In California, it is now illegal for any person to handle a phone and drive a car at the same time. The argument is that the distraction increases the chances of an accident and is not safe for the roads. However, the state legislatures have failed to address another danger that most drivers use: of course, the iPod.

10) iMissed the Fire Alarm:

These kids were toast.

11) iCancer:

According to Greenpeace, if eating your iPhone does not cause immediate damage to your body or internal organs, it eventually will down the road. As their research points out, the iPhone’s headset and cords both contain high levels of cancer causing materials that have yet to be fully disclosed: Among the offending chemicals the organization discovered are polyvinyl chloride (PVC), a plastic banned from children’s toys, in the iPhone’s headphones, and Bromine, which is typically used as a flame retardant. Greenpeace also found high uses of “phthalates,” chemicals used to increase the flexibility of plastic, in the iPhone’s headset.Although adults may know better than to eat an iPhone, infants are the ones we have to worry about.

12) iNduced British Soccer Riot:

According to the British police, cell phone thefts are a cause of concern. Nearly half a million units are stolen every year and the release of the iPhone provoked increased security measures both on the street and through technology.

13) iBomb:

Terrorism runs deep these days, but perhaps the most innovative way to die by iPod or iPhone would be through a homemade bomb. As this article points out, a child made a homemade bomb out of his iPod which led to an explosion and his eventual hospitalization. There have also been many other reports of iPods and iPhones exploding while charging due to a battery malfunction. Although the explosions may be small in scale, as Greenpeace and others have pointed out, the chemicals are nothing you want to inhale.

So there you have it, the life line of so many techies is potentially the life taker for many unlucky people in this world. And while the possibilities of it happening to you are minute, keep in mind that it could happen to anyone. Except for the helicopter crash, that guy was just the most unlucky person in the world. However, Apple does have a new system to counter the gruesome iPhone and iPod related fatalities: iDentification. . . it’s like a military dog tag that plays music.